Jedi Conference News & Notes

* Despite a 35-19 victory in week 7, the Chapel Hillbillies fired Head Coach Fred Maske after benching Marion Barber for Patrick Crayton near game time. Even more shocking than the mid-game firing came the next day when the Hillbillies hired Maske back at his 2001 salary. An anonymous member of the Hillbillies front office commented,

"We learned that little trick from Circuit City. Who needs employees with years of experience when you can fill their shoes with morons who are content to live below the poverty line?"

Maske is reportedly thrilled to be hired back, given the limited employment opportunities in quality fantasy football.


* The PFL Hall of Fame and Shame is considering adding a wing dedicated to nightmare contract signings. Rumblings grew loud out of Valhalla as RB Ronnie Brown was lost for the season a day after renewing his contract with the Victimizers. (What's your favorite nightmare signing? Discuss!)


* The midway point of the regular season gives us an excuse to look back at the draft and play Monday Morning Quarterback. Let's look back and make fun of others:

• Jackass of the Year Award: So far, this would have to go to RB Travis Henry. A #2 overall in the Jedi and #6 in the Empire, Henry could find himself doing the Sattiva Slide into an extended vacation soon. One TD this season.
• Steals of the Draft: Gonna go crazy here and declare the Playboys' taking Randy Moss in the 5th to be the steal of the year. Honorable Mention to Sayrehill for grabbing Plaxico Burress at the end of the 9th, the Victimizers' 15th round selection of Braylon Edwards.
• Disaster Round of the Year: Adam Vinatieri is the only non-embarrassing pick of the 4th round. Valhalla and Chapel Hill took Andre Johnson and Javon Walker, respectively, leaving TJ Houshyomama and Randy Moss available for the 5th. Marc Bulger, Ahman Green, and Brandon Jackson round out the carnage.